Not Quite Okay
by beautyandrage
Summary: "You asked me to lie to you and I did." Azula x Ty Lee. Oneshot.


"Hi, I know it's been a long time and I've totally devastated you emotionally but it's good to see you and you look very pretty ─ _ugh_ ─ _no_." Ty Lee punches the mirror and it cracks. She cringes and glances around, hoping no one noticed. "Okay, okay. Hi, I know it's been a long time and I've totally devastated you emotionally but even if you don't ever want to see you again it's nice to ─ _not that either_."

Someone walks down the hall and Ty Lee shrinks, pretending she is not talking to a mirror. This is by far the most difficult thing she has ever attempted, and she does not know how she will do it.

The hallway is nice. It's pretty. The paintings all match and the paint on the walls is not chipped; there is not a trace of dust and it is impeccably clean. Wood on fixtures is glossy and the mirror, although now shattered, is spotless.

Honestly, the place makes Ty Lee uncomfortable. Her skin crawls slightly when places are _too nice_. Her house was never flawless like her friends' homes were; it was constantly a mess despite an endless flow of servants. It only was cleaned when there were important people visiting and Ty Lee never liked that.

She has spent her entire life pretending she was someone she was not. Worn a thousand different masks and been a thousand different people. Now she supposes she is content in her life. It is simple and the muddy island is _far _from sparklingly clean.

But she has loose ends to tie up. Well, _one _loose end to tie up.

Deep breaths. Perhaps rehearsing is not for her. She turns on her heel and starts walking, clutching the hastily scribbled room number handed to her by an overwhelmed receptionist and trying to navigate the halls. It is like a labyrinth and each turn makes Ty Lee want to turn around and run as fast as she possibly can.

Bravery. Brave. Ty Lee is not _brave_ and her heart is in her throat.

Escalating emotion, gasps for breath she tries to disguise as a cough when someone walks past her. She reaches a room surrounded by the royal guard and she figures it is the right place. Their uniforms are different and their composure. Meant to stop assassinations.

Ty Lee does not know if they are keeping people out or keeping her in.

"Hi, nice to meet you I'm just going to walk in," Ty Lee says, opening the door before the muscular guards can say anything. She fights the urge to wink at the cute one and shuffles inside of the room.

It is cold. Far too cold for the Fire Nation. It smells like ash masked by incense, a scent the royal palace had an awful lot of.

"Hi, I know it's been a long time and I've totally devastated you emotionally but─"

"Please shut up." Hmph. Ty Lee closes her mouth so quickly she narrowly misses biting off her own tongue. "What do you want?"

"I'm tying up loose ends," Ty Lee offers, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She walks further inside, towards the disembodied voice. "Well, the only loose end I have if I'm being honest."

Azula is sitting on a chair as if it is a throne, looking incredibly bored. But her eyes are distinctly different than they used to be. Ty Lee cannot describe it but it makes her stomach churn. They look like the eyes of someone who has been tortured, but placed into the motionless face of someone who is impeccably perfect.

"What does tying up loose ends involve?" Azula asks, looking Ty Lee up and down. Her eyelashes glitter strangely in the light trickling through close ends. "Are you going to cry? Or sleep with me? Or do something that actually interests me. Hm, perhaps you'll walk on your hands."

"You don't have to... I didn't have to come here," Ty Lee's face is pinker than her brand new clothes. She was not exactly going to walk through the Fire Nation in blue or green. Even though she feels out of place here.

"No, you didn't. Clearly you wanted to. So what is it?" Azula asks, standing up slowly, fluidly. She looks thin, pale. Overcompensating with every movement.

"I just wanted to ask if you're okay?" Ty Lee says and Azula almost laughs.

"I'm okay." She is quiet for a moment and then makes a careless shrug. "I'm not quite okay. The polite and socially acceptable thing to do would be to respond to your question. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Ty Lee says brightly and enthusiastically. Azula makes a face that reveals she sees right through it. "I'm not quite okay."

"Well, then, that explains why you're here. You think I can make you feel okay?" Azula shrugs. "Momentary bliss maybe, but you aren't going to find what you're looking for here."

Ty Lee swallows. This is going even worse than she imagined it to be. She thinks she might actually prefer it if Azula were catatonic or throwing lamps at her. Just her _eyes _picking Ty Lee apart down to the bone. They are like golden scalpels surgically removing everything that makes Ty Lee composed.

"I don't want momentary bliss," Ty Lee says softly, looking close to defeated. "I just wanted to know if you're okay."

"Not quite okay."

"Alright." Ty Lee blinks a little to fiercely. "Your honesty makes me kind of uncomfortable."

"Would you rather I lie to you? I completely can, if you'd like," Azula says, something shifting in her. She just gained the power in the room, for the first time in a long time. Helpless here. Completely helpless and degraded. Cared for so _perfectly _but so fucking powerless.

No one has been as afraid of her as Ty Lee is since she was biting off people's fingers.

"Maybe," Ty Lee offers, walking towards Azula and then changing her mind and stepping back.

"Alright. I love you and I want you to be here and I would love to marry you and have maybe a cat and─"

"I shouldn't have come here."

"No. You shouldn't have."

"I want to help you."

"Everybody seems to. I don't need to be helped. I was fine for my entire life."

"Maybe I want you to help me. I don't know." Ty Lee's eyes swell with tears. She claws at her skirt, twisting the fabric in sweaty hands.

"We can do nothing more for each other. It was regrettable. I haven't thought about it once since you abandoned me for mediocrity," Azula says calmly and Ty Lee bites back tears. "You would be far more _okay _if you stopped thinking about me."

"I should go," Ty Lee whispers and turns away. She stops and takes a deep breath. "Thank you for your honesty."

"What?" Azula asks, sounding slightly confused and less serpentine. "My honesty? You asked me to lie to you and I just did. You aren't a very good listener, are you?"

Ty Lee does not figure it out; Azula does not have the energy to explain it to her.

"Maybe I'll see you," Ty Lee says with a shrug. She walks out of the door and does not realize the meaning of Azula's words until she is almost back at the crushed mirror.

_She was lying_. It's not regrettable.

Small smile.


End file.
